With two tattoo's already under my belt, I felt I had this world nailed. Until I learnt that there is an exception to this, not all skin tattoos the same. Some areas are definitely more tender than others. One would assume that getting a tattoo near the heart would be painful, and under normal circumstances, it probably would have been. Except on this occasion, there was a lot more at play with the inclusion, or more importantly the absence of my emotions.
I was NUMB.
And deservedly so. My nan had just passed away and we were stuck 3500 kms away. Despite having organised flights and logistics as soon practical. It wasn't soon enough. She passed away during the night, we were due to leave town in the wee hours of the morn. This is where my newest tattoo comes into the story.
My bestie was already booked in and ready to go for a tattoo during our brief trip back home, and although I didn't find many occasions for laughter on this trip, I do hold a dear sense of love and support. She also made sure that I had an opportunity for a new tattoo as well. Mr. Pink had moved on from here by this stage and I couldn't even recall if it was my besties tattooist that inked me or just another one of the team. Ideas lead us to a bird cage with an open door and a bird flying free. A beautiful representation of my nan's passing.
There wasn't a laughter filled session this time, no giggling, flirting or idle chatter. It was unlike any tattoo session that I had had previously. It was new territory and I don't think there really is a right or wrong way to have gone about it. On this occasion it was full of internal monologue and bleak emptiness. I had grown up with nan as a solid part of my youth and to accept that she was gone was a reality I struggled to process.
Tears of pain, especially those from my emotional pain, sat heavily on my heart, but being surrounded by those who loved me added to the depth that I eventually felt once the healing process begun. Although this tattoo isn't full of all the bright and cheerful moments of all my other tattoos, it is full of raw meaning and close to my heart.
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